


Phobias

by DreamStar37



Category: To The Moon (Video Game)
Genre: Acrophobia, Athazagoraphobia, Atychiphobia, Cleithrophobia, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Musophobia, Nyctophobia, Thantophobia, any and all phobia fics, eva is done with his BS, more blackmail material, neil being a moron
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-11 00:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13512933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamStar37/pseuds/DreamStar37
Summary: A collection of oneshots, all about phobias





	1. Acrophobia

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this fluff! :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acrophobia - Fear of heights

Eva had a headache, a headache by the name of Neil Watts. The Neil who was, at this very moment, stuck in a tree, AGAIN.  
"Neil for the love of cabbage, you are an adult!" With how often she found herself face palming, she wouldn't be surprised if her hand somehow glued itself to her face. 

Neil hugged the tree a little tighter. "EVA PLEASE JUST GET ME DOWN!"

"How did you even get up there?! You hate heights!" She was going to need some ibuprofen for this... Maybe if she threw the bottle hard enough at his head it would knock him out of the tree.

She vaguely heard him mumble something under his breath. "What? Sorry Neil, for some reason I just can't seem to hear you. Almost as if you were in some high, unreachable place."

He shot her a pointed look, his cheeks puffing out in anger. "...ROBERT SAID HE BET I COULDN'T MAKE IT TO THE TOP OF THE TREE!"

...What. Eva blinked up at him, face completely blank. "And you just... fell for it??"

Neil practically deflated, and started fidgeting under her unrelenting gaze "...When you put it like that..." He suddenly seemed to remember where he was again, and gripped the tree anew.  
"OK LOOK JUST, HELP ME-"

She couldn't help it, and promptly burst into laughter. Leaning forward while clutching her stomach, she felt herself devolve into loud, hiccupy chuckles. Neil had gone silent above her again, so she glanced up at him while wiping tears from her eyes. His mouth was hanging open, and Eva thought she saw his cheeks tinged red, though it was hard to tell from this distance.

She took in a few more shaky breathes, trying not to laugh again. "OK, OK... I'm coming up to get you, moron" Taking off her lab coat and placing it folded neatly on the ground, Eva marched up to the tree, it couldn't be THAT hard to climb... it was.

It took her not one, not five, but TEN WHOLE MINUTES to climb the twenty feet up to Neil. Ten minutes of her life wasted getting smacked in the face by branches, her sweater snagging on the rough bark. Neil attempting to give her tips as she ascended didn't help either. It was her turn to shoot him a look, now neither of them were laughing.

Finally, FINALLY, she managed to hoist herself onto the same branch Neil was perched on. The second she stopped swaying, she suddenly had a new problem. Or rather, a Neil problem. Specifically, he was now clinging to her like a scared baby koala.

"NEIL LET GO!" She could feel herself losing balance, if she just kept her focus, this is fine, just gotta... pry Neil off and- A sudden flash of light caught both the doctor's attention, and they turned simultaneously towards the source.

In a second story window stood Roxie, holding up a camera sheepishly. Standing next to her-

"F*$^ING ROBERT!!!!!!!" Neil's war cry rang in her ear, enough to cause her to sway violently backwards, right off the branch. Neil was still clinging to her torso, and was thus pulled after her.

Their high pitched screams echoed throughout the small plaza. Eva landed hard on her back, and a second later Neil landed right on top of her.  
He was the first one to move, practically throwing himself to the side away from her.  
"Oh god, Eva? Eva, I'm so sorry, are you alright?!" He worried out loud, a pained wheeze was her only response. They both looked disheveled; leaves stuck out of their hair, skin covered in scratches, Neil's glasses were all crooked.

Eva decided the ibuprofen wasn't gonna be enough for this one.


	2. Cleithrophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cleithrophobia/Cleisiophobia - Fear of being locked in an enclosed place

"So, what are you going to do once you get home?" Eva asked, turning slightly to view her partner.  
Neil glanced at her for a moment, dragging his feet as they walked to the elevator.

"I've got a date with my bed" He said with a goofy grin, causing her to chuckle. This only caused him to smile wider, apparently satisfied at the result.  
"Yep, I'm in preeeetty high demand, I'll have you know."

She punched his arm lightly, before stepping into the just called elevator. Everyone else had already left work for the day, they were the last two doctors on the floor.  
"I just picked up a new book the other night..." Eva began, before the elevator shuddered violently. Her hand shot out, grabbing the object closest to her, namely Neil's arm. Instinctively, he grabbed her arm as well, as they stared wide eyed up at the flickering lights.  
Machinery whined and creaked around the frightened doctors, before they were plunged into darkness.  
With a steadying breath, Eva collected herself.  
"Well, that was exciting!" Letting go of Neil, she began feeling around the cramped space.  
...It was still just an elevator though, there was nothing useful inside, especially when she couldn't see anything.  
"Cucumbers" she muttered under her breath. The loss of power probably meant the generator was out, and no one else was in the office...

The sound of panicked breathing froze Eva on the spot.  
"...Neil?" Eva felt her way around the elevator again, finding Neil crouched in the back corner. He was shaking violently, breaths coming out in short, high pitched wheezes. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, only for him to flinch away with a strangled cry. Retracting her hand like it had touched a hot stove, she stared silently into the darkness.  
This... Eva wasn't sure what to do in this kind of situation, Neil had never had a panic attack near her before. Her heart twinged in worry, and she slowly kneeled next to him, like approaching a wild animal.  
"It's alright... I'm right here" She tried to keep her voice no louder than a whisper, soft and even. His breathing stuttered, every inhale interrupted several times over.  
"Just breathe Neil, you're going to be alright" She clasped her hands together, trying to stop herself from reaching out. As much as she wanted to hug him, she had a feeling it would only make things worse.  
She continued to whisper calmly, at some point forgoing words to simply humming a lullaby.  
With time, Neil's breathing slowed. He was still far from calm, Eva thought she could hear him sniffling, but didn't mention it.  
The feeling of a hand on her arm startled her, and she stopped humming momentarily before falling back into rhythm. Painfully slow, Neil wrapped his arms around her in a shaky hug.  
Not wanting him to feel trapped, Eva didn't hug back, instead opting to gently run her hand through his hair as she sang.  
She felt him shudder lightly, before relaxing completely, eventually his arms fell limp at her sides as he drifted to sleep.  
Despite this, she still sang for him, staying awake for as long as she could in an attempt to protect him from any nightmares.

When the sun finally rose and the other employees arrived to work. The two doctors were found huddled together in the elevator, peacefully asleep.  
At least, until the sound of Roxie's phone snapping a picture woke them up.


	3. Atychiphobia (Eva's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atychiphobia - Fear of Failure

They'd failed.

It was bound to happen eventually, not every dying patient's wish could be fulfilled in time, after all. Every doctor at Sigmund experienced the loss, a list of names on their profiles, forever engraved.  
They'd been lucky up until this point, getting easy missions with enough time to work with. The most recent patient, an old Italian man by the name Peppino Mclovin, originally had wanted to be an egg, but they'd managed to talk him down to wanting to be an engineer instead.  
It had been a funny concept at first, if unrealistic. Neil had laughed for a solid ten minutes, and she still heard him whisper " _Peppino just wants to be an egg_ " under his breath before bursting back into laughter again multiple times during the mission. But Peppino's time was shorter than they had anticipated. They'd only just made it to his childhood memories, before being forced to back out.  
" _No-!_ We can still make it, _we can-_ " her trembling hands gripped the helmet, fully intending to jump right back in to the simulation. Before she had a chance though, she felt Neil grab her arms, forcefully holding her back. His mouth was set in a deep frown, eye brows knit together.  
The steady beep indicating their patient's demise rang in her ears, and for a moment Eva swore it was her heart flat lining.

 _She_ had failed

Vacantly, she watched him take her helmet from her slack grip, placing it to the side before gently leading her away. She shuffled after him, more because she had to than because she wanted to.  
Her surroundings felt foggy, like she wasn't really there, putting one foot before the other took all of her concentration. Neil led her to what looked like a couch and sat her down.

In the back of her mind, she registered that her lungs were burning. Oh, right, breathing is important, she should do that.

"Eva, _breathe!_ " Neil's voice sounded distant, his words foreign, but she immediately kicked into 'follow orders' mode. Automatically, she sucked in a hasty breath.

Out of her over saturated blurry vision, a hand materialized, too quick. She jerked back several inches, before curling forward in on herself. She was shaking, she wasn't supposed to be shaking, any sign of weakness was cause for punishment. _She didn't mean to, please, no no no-_  
_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorryI'msorryI'msorry-_!

" _Eva!_ " the pure concern in her other's voice managed to snap her out of it, if only enough to look up and focus on his face.  
Neil, right, his name is Neil, her partner. Neil's hands were raised slightly, reaching out towards her but hesitant. His mouth hung open, eyes wide behind those reflective lenses, a shocked expression etching his normally lax features. He kept opening his mouth, but seemed at a loss for words.

She blinked slowly at him, and was surprised to find that she was crying. Had she... had she said that all out loud?  
Shoulders tense, she realized her mistake too late, _too late..._

"I'm _sor-!_ "  
She tried to begin, before Neil slowly leaned forward, wrapping her in a silent hug.

It was... it was fine? She wasn't in trouble??

Eva felt tears begin to spill anew, before shakily returning the hug.


	4. Musophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Musophobia - fear of mice

Roxie spun back and forth in her chair as she worked, honestly, swivel chairs were probably the best invention that was allowed to be used in an office.  
The sound of her phone buzzing startled her, after checking the caller ID she picked up.  
"Heya Robbie, what's up?" she chirped into the phone, spinning away from the computer screen.  
The sound of panicked breathing on the other end however made her pause, stopping all movement to focus on the conversation.  
"...Rob?"

"Roxie, I need your help, now" His words sounded clipped over the phone, forced.  
"My office, please, don't let anyone know" _Click._

What. She stared down at the phone in confusion, just, what.  
Well then, guess she was going to Robert's office.

After making sure the coast was clear, she darted out across the hall and through the adjacent office door. Closing the door behind her, she locked eyes with her partner.

He was standing on top of his desk, eyes wide and shoulders tensed.  
"...Robert what on Earth are you doing?"  
Before he could respond, a mouse ran across Roxie's feet, causing Robert to jump back, nearly falling off the desk. She looked down at the mouse, up at her partner, mouse, partner.  
"Are you... afraid of mice?" she asked, causing Robert to look away embarrassed.

"Please, just get rid of it..." he muttered. This was some quality teasing material, but she had the feeling it would be best to save it for later.  
Pulling two gardening gloves out of her pocket, she walked forward slowly.  
"Wait, where did you get those?" Robert asked, now sounding more confused than scared.

"Stole 'em from Eva, shhhhh..." sneaking forward a few more paces, careful now...  
In one motion she shot forward, grabbing the mouse with one hand by it's midsection and holding it up proudly. It struggled against her grip, biting the gloves in all it's tiny mousey anger. She pretended she could hear high pitched curses being thrown at her and her family, _awww..._

"Let me know if you need help getting off the desk, Robbie~!"   
Turning on the spot, she headed to the door, leaving behind a very embarrassed and confused Robert.


	5. Athazagoraphobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athazagoraphobia - fear of being forgotten, ignored, or abandoned

Roxanne Winters liked to think of herself as a positive person, somebody that could be relied on during good times and bad. She was friendly, quirky, and maybe a little bit clingy. Once she made a friend, they would have a hard time getting rid of her. She understood that sometimes friends were busy, or didn't feel up to tolerating her, and she was usually fine with that...  
But today felt different.

Whenever Roxie felt down, or just plain bored, she kept a mental list of people to visit. As always, the top of that list was-  
"Robbie~!" She chirped, waltzing into his office. Robert, used to the routine by now, glanced up at her before back down at his computer screen.  
"Sorry, Roxie, I'm busy right now." he said, unknowingly sending a pain through Roxie's heart, she couldn't help but feel disappointed. He was watching her carefully now, picking up on the change in mood. Shoving the feeling down, she forced a smile and nodded, spinning backwards out the door and closing it, much to the confusion and worry of Robert.

Next on the list, Eva. Roxie liked the traversal agent, she could tell that deep down Eva was just as quirky and excitable as Roxie herself. Though, Eva tended to hold herself back, maintaining a constantly neutral presence. The cracks in Eva's mask showed her inner personality, a childlike excitement about her favorite topics, hidden behind... nothing, a perceived lack of feeling.  
Roxie's masks were the exact opposite, sadness and fear hidden behind a bubbly personality. Maybe that was the reason she felt herself so attracted to other doctor, Eva had something that Roxie wanted to understand but couldn't.  
Shaking her head to clear the thoughts, mask back up in a matter of seconds, she opened to door to Eva's office.  
"Evaaa~!" Roxie grinned, leaning against the door frame just inside the office. Eva jumped slightly, looking up at Roxie before relaxing.  
"Oh- Roxie, you could have at least knocked first..." the traversal agent sighed, rubbing her temples in annoyance.  
"Whoopsy doopsy, sorry hun, I was just _so_ excited to tell you all about-" Roxie began, walking up to peek at Eva's desk, but stops short as Eva holds out her hand slightly.  
"No- I mean... not right now, I'm sorry, Roxie." Eva tried to shut her down gently, watching the technician in apprehension. Before her face could show her disappointment again, Roxie grinned and forced a small laugh.  
"That's alright! I'll just tell you later... bye!" Roxie retreated back out the door yet again, before Eva could have a chance to question her behavior. Yet again, the mask slipped, and Roxie found herself staring forward across the hall, her next target.

Neil's masks were much like hers, he grinned and joked, changing topics so fast you weren't even sure what the original conversation had been about. It was something Roxie was intimately familiar with. His reflective glasses however, had been integrated as part of his mask, the eyes were the windows to the soul after all. When he turned his head at just the right angle, Roxie saw past the mask. Dark bags under tired eyes, like every ounce of exhaustion in him had been contained in his eyes alone, hidden carefully, methodically. Neil spent a lot of energy keeping his masks up, and Roxie saw everything, but she would never let him know.

Just then, the sound of the elevator opening startled Roxie out of her thoughts, she ignored the delay it took to throw up her mask, and looked down the hall.  
It was Neil, a careless armful of papers under one arm and a cup of coffee in the other, walking briskly to his office.  
"Heya, Neil-" She chirped, hopping forward as he managed to open the door without dropping anything. Neil didn't even glance at her as he hurried into his office.  
"Busy" he bit out, slamming the door behind him and locking it, leaving Roxie to swallow her words in silence.  
Slowly, deliberately, she turns and walks down the hall and back into her empty office. Closing the door quietly behind her, she sits down on the floor, and finally lets herself feel. Unburdened, the pain hits her like a wave, and Roxie is thankful she isn't standing. Taking in shuddering breaths, she wraps her arms around herself shakily, allowing her head to loll forward and rest on her arms.  
She understood that she could be a bit much at times, that people got annoyed with her. But she couldn't stop, she'd forced herself to be so overly friendly for so long that now she wasn't even sure what her personality was. The only thing Roxie really wanted, deep down, was friends who liked her.  
Her surroundings blur, obscured by the one thing she knew she could never let anyone see. Roxie never liked crying, but it was somehow oddly comforting, so long as she was alone. Roxie had spent enough nights alone as a child, huddled under the blankets and sobbing as silently as she could. She didn't want to bother her parents, her friends, anyone. They didn't want to deal with that, it was something she was just expected to deal with, and that was fine.

The sound of the door clicking open makes her jump, and she scrubs frantically at the tears, practically rubbing the delicate skin under her eyes raw. She glances up, vision partially obscured by her bangs at the last person she thought she'd see: Robert.  
He's frozen in the doorway, eyes wide with such pure worry it makes her heart ache, and she grips her arms tighter, almost painfully so, to stop herself for reaching out to him. Right now, this very moment, Roxie can't seem to find the energy to smile, so she turns away, staring down at the floor and just hoping that he leaves her alone. But she doesn't really want him to leave, she wants to be comforted, to be hugged, even if it's just once... Just this once, Roxie thinks it would be okay to seek comfort. Looking back up at Robert, she tries to find the words that seem determined to remain lost.  
He blinks, understanding dawning in those dark eyes before he kneels beside her. She doesn't care anymore, and childishly holds out her arms, no words are needed. Carefully, he hugs her, rubbing circles on her back soothingly. They remain silent, the only sound coming from Roxie as she lets herself crying again, relaxing into Robert's grip.  
Eventually, she stops crying and closes her eyes, drained from the whirlwind of emotions. One thought surfaces in Roxie's mind; that Robert is the best partner she could have ever asked for. With a smile, she finally drifts off to sleep.


	6. Nyctophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyctophobia - fear of the dark

Eva Rosalene hated the dark. Logically she knew there was nothing to be afraid of, she always kept her bedroom door locked, nothing could get in without her knowing. But when she was alone at night, her tired mind conjured monsters out of the dark. Pitch black creatures, lacking any noticeable features, crawling towards her on the walls and ceiling.  
Some nights are worse, big hulking shapes that look vaguely like people, some Eva recognizes, and some she doesn't. They don't have any facial features that she could see, it's more of a feeling. A nagging at the back of her mind that she _knows_ them.

Eva rolled over in her bed, staring at her room blankly, waiting to finally fall asleep. Something moving caught her attention however, pitch black like all the others, though this one was too tall to be an animal. Eva's breath caught in her throat, too horrified to react.  
She recognized that silhouette anywhere; the one person she knew could hurt her the most, the one she trusted more than anything... Neil, her best friend.

Right now, the fact that it wasn't Neil didn't matter. To Eva's exhausted mind, she couldn't tell the difference, not anymore. Paralyzed with fear, she watched as it, as _Neil_ , shambled towards her. Past and present melded together, old nightmares resurfacing, becoming reality. She thinks she remembers him dying; bleeding out, a machine malfunction, stabbed in the rain, shot, overdose... Neil had died in her dreams too many times to count, every time she could never seem to save him in time. No that wasn't right, Neil was alive, not dead... right? She didn't know, and not knowing hurt, the nightmare standing in her room, maybe it was Neil.

...Maybe she failed him, too.

At this thought, the figure stilled, looming over her menacingly, arms outstretched towards her, a silent plea. The impact of it's emotions hit her like a tidal wave; malice, fear, anger, pain, hate. It, Neil... hated her?  
Tears brimmed in her eyes, and in a fit of desperation Eva throws herself out of bed away from Neil. Landing on her shoulder hard, she scrabbles across the room, slamming into the far wall and flipping the lights on. Spinning around to face the room, breathing heavily, Eva takes in her surroundings. The room is empty, she can't see Neil anymore. Rushing forward, Eva starts practically tearing the room apart in search, he was _just here!_ He can't be gone, where is he hiding?! After five minutes of frantic searching, a switch flips in Eva's mind; Neil was never here, no one was.  
Dropping the wrinkled blanket on the floor, Eva backs up until her back hits the wall, and she slides to the floor. Her room is a mess, and she's alone.  
On instinct, Eva picks her phone up off the floor and stares at the screen. Normally, Eva would text or call Neil after a particularly bad nightmare. His number is on speed dial, in seconds she could be talking to him, she could know he was alright...

...But she can't, the nightmare still fresh freezing her in her tracks, so she chucks the phone to the side. She sits there for a long time, room light still on, before finally falling asleep on the floor.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Eva's day is not off to a good start, she messed up her shoulder, her back and neck are stiff from sleeping on the floor, and every time she sees Neil she panics. The closer in proximity she is to Neil, the worse the panic, to the point she refused to go in the elevator with him, and just ran up the stairs before escaping into her office and closing the door in Neil's face.  
The looks of confusion and worry on his face... he didn't deserve this, but right now she didn't want anything to do with him. After taking a few calming breaths, it was time to work.

The sound of knocking startled Eva awake. Whoops, guess she was more tired than she thought.  
"Who is it?" Please don't be Neil, please don't be Neil, please don't be-  
"...It's me, Neil... Can I come in?" Dangit. Eva really didn't want to see him right now, but if he was actually knocking instead of just barging in... it might be important.  
With a sigh, Eva gets up and opens the door a crack, staring through at a very nervous Neil. The second she sees him, her heart starts pounding, and she has to force herself to remain calm and let him in while her instincts scream at her to run and hide. As Neil slowly inches into the room, Eva backs up and sits back down at her desk, never letting him out of her sight. He's watching her too, purposefully keeping his movements slow as he closes the door, sealing them both inside. Eva forces her voice to remain steady.  
"So, what is it that's so important you actually learned how to knock?" Eva tries to make herself looks busy, moving papers around while watching Neil in her peripheral vision. He fidgets, still watching her with a worried expression.  
"I just wanted to know, what the heck is wrong with you today?" Neil asked, his tone sounding stand-offish, putting Eva even more on edge.  
"What the heck is wrong with me?!" She huffed, crossing her arms defensively.  
"Yeah! Like why you've been acting weird, and ignoring me all day-" Neil was getting frustrated, waving his arms in annoyance, the sudden movements causing Eva to flinch back. Neil notices, and he slowly lowers his arms again, watching her closely.  
"...Did something happen?" He asks, voice low and flat, expression etched in worry.  
"No." Eva shoots back forcefully, before taking a deep breath. "...No, nothing happened" she sighs, staring down at the space between them.  
"Eva" Neil groans, slowly moving to rub at his eyes under his glasses. "Obviously, something happened, now just tell me already so I can help!" his voice slowly raising in frustration, when she doesn't reply, he walks towards her.  
"H-hey-" Eva manages to squeak out, standing up out of her chair and backing away until she hits the wall. Neil continues walking forward until he'd standing right in front of her, Eva's heart pounds loudly in her ears. She's breathing heavily again, practically wheezing, and shaking violently in silent terror.  
"Eva, please, I just want to help... Why won't you let me?" Neil looks conflicted, arms raised slightly, reaching out towards her.  
Eva's vision goes fuzzy, the edges tinging black as she loses her balance. She's not quite sure where she is anymore, or if she's even awake, her shoulder throbs to the beat of her racing heart as she sobs. Curling forward into herself protectively, some one is holding her, keeping her from falling to the floor, but she can't remember who.

They stay like this for a long time, as she tries to get her breathing under control, crying openly into their shoulder. She thinks she hears singing, something soft and low, comforting memories and happy times, she focuses on it like a life line. Painfully slow, Eva finally starts to come back around, the singing becoming less muffled and she's able to recognize the voice. It's Neil, hugging her and slowly petting her hair, singing softly. She hasn't heard him sing in a long time... she missed it. The fear is still there, at the edges of her mind, but she can control it now.  
"...I'm sorry..." her voices croaks, hoarse from all the crying. Neil stops singing.  
"It's alright, I forgive you... But next time tell me before it gets this bad, okay?" Neil's voice sounds strained, too. Eva wraps her arms around him, and closes her eyes. "Promise me you'll tell me, Eva... please." His arms hug her tighter, like he's afraid he'll lose her again.  
"...Okay, I promise."


	7. Thantophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanatophobia/Thantophobia- Fear of death or dying, fear of the death of a loved one.

"I'm just saying, we should totally get the whole office together to play laser tag!" Neil grinned over at Eva, who was currently leaning against the side of the Sigmund building with him. She contemplated the idea for a minute, before turning to him with a wry smile.  
"You really think you'd last more than a minute against Roxie?" Eva laughed, light and carefree, the laugh she reserved just for him. Not that he knew, of course.  
"Against Roxie? Not a chance, Robert however..." before Neil could continue, a glass bottle shattering against the wall inches from his head startles him, causing both of the doctors to jump backwards several feet. They turn, facing down an angry man stumbling towards the building, eyes wild and full of rage, a protester? Neil edges towards his partner, never looking away from the man as he strides forward right up to them.  
"...What's up-" Neil tries to diffuse the situation, but without warning he's reeling back in pain as the protester punches him square in the nose. Falling to the ground with a grunt, clutching his face as his glasses clatter to the ground, broken. Eva's shouting is lost in the ringing as he tries to regain his composure.  
"Dammit..." Neil hisses, his glasses frame crumbling when he tries to pick it up. With his free hand, he wipes away the blood dripping from his nose in disgust. Looking up, blurry shapes dance, locked in battle. He can just barely make out Eva, her hair and lab coat fanning out behind her as she fights off the attacker. She's standing firmly between Neil and her foe, darting back and forth every time the stranger tries to get past her.  
Neil wants more than anything to get up and help her fight, but without his glasses he would just get in the way... Not that he was any good at fighting, he honestly had the strength of a wet tissue but it's the thought that counts. He watches as Eva ducks forward, punching the guy in the face before jumping back again.  
Something shifts, the stranger making a deep guttural sound before lashing forward, slamming into Eva. She wheezes, a strange airy gasp that sends a chill down Neil's spine, and he attempts to scramble up to his feet. A dizzying vertigo sends him right back down, and he can only watch as Eva and the protester struggle against each other. Eva's long hair working against her, as the man yanks her head down with one hand and punching her in the stomach with the other. With a grunt, Eva swiftly kicks the guy in the groin, enough for him to let go and stumble back.  
Taking her chance, Eva reels forward, kicking the guy hard in the chest as he tries to roll away. She practically chases him off, making a terrifying gravely scream like nothing Neil has ever heard her make as the guy runs off. Once she's sure the attacker is gone, she stumbles back over to Neil. He squints up at her, despite not being able to make out any real details, deep down he knows something is wrong. She's doubled over, arms wrapped around her midsection, swaying violently as she tries to keep her balance.  
Eva collapses next to him, breathing heavily, a worrying rattle accompanying every wheezing inhale. She leans sideways onto him, head lolling weakly against his shoulder.  
"Eva, what's wrong- are you okay?!" he grips her shoulders in concern, squinting at her as she slowly lifts her head, their eyes locking. She doesn't answer, and the reason is suddenly apparent to Neil as the coppery scent hits him. Blurry red stains blossom on Eva's lab coat behind her arms, too many to count. Neil pitches forward, trying desperately to staunch the blood flow. His hand brushes something hard sticking out of Eva's stomach; a knife.  
_"No- no no no..!"_ the sound of Neil's heart pounds in his ears, there's so much blood, _too much-_ Eva convulses, sharp inhales in between violent coughing, even more blood trickling down the corners of her mouth, red speckles staining his lab coat. Yet through it all, Neil can see her smiling at him, her gaze never leaving his eyes, like she's seeing him for the first time. He stares back, eyes wide in desperation, breathing erratic. He's failed her, unable to fight and unable to protect. The one person in the world he would give anything for-

**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**

With a strangled scream, Neil wakes up in his bed. Staring at his trembling hands for a moment before slowly lowering his head, he tries to remind himself to breath. He can still feel the blood on his hands, the warmth of Eva leaning against him, the fear... Neil sniffles, suddenly realizing that he's crying. He wipes away the tears with a shaky hand, before glancing at his alarm clock. It was 6:00am... time to get ready for work. Taking a steadying breath, Neil tries to forget the nightmare.


	8. Atychiphobia (Neil's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atychiphobia - Fear of Failure
> 
> (Basically, it's just chapter 3 but from Neil's point of view)

Failure was inevitable, especially considering their line of work.

Neil knew this, but he still hated it. At the end of the day, the geezers die, that was all there was to it. Sometimes they were lucky, and got to finish the mission first. But not always.  
It had been a fun mission at first, he couldn't _not_ laugh at a name like Peppino Mclovin, and the _wish-_ Who the hell pays money to become an egg? I mean, sure, they'd managed to talk him down to just being an engineer- _("Eva, what if he was an EGGINEER-")_ but still. He'd barely even noticed the patient deteriorating through his laughter until it was too late. They were no where near able to send the wish signal, only just into the childhood memories when the simulation started destabilizing, forcing them to back out.  
The second Neil was able to see, he noticed a problem. Eva's eyes were clouded with determination, the deep brown hardened like ice. But ice was brittle, hiding an emotion Neil barely ever saw in his normally stoic partner; fear. Eva was afraid, and people always do stupid things when they're afraid. He's up in seconds, striding across the empty space and firmly grabbing her arms. She struggles, desperately trying to get back into the simulation despite the dangers.

The second the patient flat lines, she just... stops. Stops fighting, stops breathing, just stops _everything._ Neil carefully takes the helmet from her slack grip and leads her away from the family, worry bubbling in his chest. She doesn't even argue, stumbling after him in a daze towards the living room. Cautiously, he sits down on the couch with her as she begins shaking.  
Neil was never good with comfort; he wasn't any good at giving it, and receiving comfort was just plain awkward. He didn't want pity, he didn't want people worrying over him, it was just a hassle. He was fine, he was always fine, wasn't he?  
...But Eva wasn't fine, not by a long shot. And the only person around to comfort her right now was him; Neil, the office idiot who wouldn't know how to comfort someone if his life depended on it. But right now he was all she had, and Neil wasn't sure he was up for the job.

Okay, focus Neil, comforting people is easy, just gotta pay attention to their needs and- _SH*T EVA'S NOT BREATHING-_  
"Eva, _breathe!"_ Neil panics, prompting Eva to finally take in a hasty breath. Instinctively, Neil reaches out to place his hand on her arm, that's what people did to comfort, right? But the second he moves Eva flinches back, before curling forward and wrapping her arms around herself, shaking violently. Neil freezes, unsure what to do, this hadn't happened before. He can hear her mumbling something frantically, her words sending a chill up his spine.  
_"I didn't mean to, please, no no no-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorryI'msorryI'msorry-!"_ She looks more scared than he's ever seen her before, eyes wide and distant, tears rolling down her cheeks undeterred. She's absolutely terrified, and all Neil can do is sit here.  
For a moment, he can see himself. Back when he was little, sobbing and terrified, reaching out for comfort he would never receive. Comfort from parents who loved him, parents who were proud of him. In this moment, Neil sees himself in Eva. And he understands her better for the first time, or at least, he thinks he does. That mask she puts up, pretending she doesn't care... It's the same exact thing he does, just with less inappropriate jokes.  
Something sparks in him, a feeling he'd buried long ago. Love, not necessarily romantic love, mind you. Just... love. He wants her to be okay, he wants her to be _safe._ Because she deserves better, because he knows exactly why she's afraid right now...  
And then he blinks, and it's gone. As always, all that remains is Eva.  
_"Eva!"_ Neil hisses, hands still raised towards her in concern. She startles, finally focusing enough to look up at him. Recognition flashes in her eyes, then realization, then right back to fear.  
"I'm _sor-!"_ Her voice croaks, breath hitching as she starts to curl back into herself again. Neil can't take it anymore, he refuses to just sit here like the emotionally dead lump he was. Without hesitation, he slowly reaches out once more, hugging his partner in a wordless embrace.  
She stiffens in his arms, barely breathing before falling apart once more. She shakily wraps her arms around him, returning the hug, and Neil silently vows to never let her be afraid of failure again, not if he could help it.


End file.
